Family First

Family First above everything else. I love my family so much. ❤

What made me develop the very affection I have towards my family?

I love my family ever since the beginning. But in the year 2016, it was the time my immediate family got really close. Cousins, around my age specifically, who I don’t really hangout when we were kids are closer than ever. We are like a squad because there are around 12 of us. We would chat when we are not together. That is how close we have become. We weren’t as close when we were kids. I’d meet my clan, every now and then as compared to before, not so much. My titas and titos are more active in planning hangouts for us.

So many memories with my family were created. I have to say these are the best in my life. Whenever I spend time with my relatives, even for a day, I feel lighter inside. They just bring the positivity. The joy being with them just do so. The feeling when I am with my family is more genuine and joyful than being with my schoolmates. Do you feel the same way?

My family is who I can openly share my dreams and aspirations. So as with my stories. They really listen and support you. Unlike other people out there, I don’t feel like that they can relate to what I express about as compared to my family. Even though it would take a few months to see each other again, you know that they are there. That you are still in touch. It true when they say those who are far away cares about you more than those who are just right beside (if the saying goes that way)

School has been so stressful. That it will even take away my weekends. But whenever it’s family time, I’d pause my homework just to be with them. Even though I know my grades could be at risk. Family first. You can never bring back the moments of being with them. As a student, grades is a matter of life and death. Later in life people won’t really look back to what grades you got. Family is forever!

I don’t know why people my age is really longing for a love life. But in my case, family first. I don’t want to miss a thing with them. Family are the ones I am connected to ever since the beginning. I shall connect with the family before I connect with someone else.

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What is it all the Hate & Gossip?

I hate the toxic kind of environment we are all living. A world where there is hate and back stabbing. Yes, I’ve been back-stab, and been a topic for gossip. I don’t know why. What did I even do when all I’ve been doing is not minding your business and rendering whatever service I can give? Call me whatever you want. Call me “weird” or whatever you want, in the end of the day, whatever faulty things you have said to others will go back to you. My friend was asked by another person, “Why are you even friends with her?” Don’t you know how much that hurts. I am sorry if I don’t get you a good first impression. But please don’t say such things without really knowing me and what I’ve been through first. Okay?! So to those people who talk trash about me, watch out once you see me go farther in life!

In my classroom, I seat by the corner. The group by the corner are those who gossip. “You know what, [person’s name], (blah 2x)” It gets really annoying. I’d go and talk to my classmates who seats at the middle of the classroom because they are the group that don’t gossip. They are the people who would usually talk about their personal experiences than making a fuss of other people’s life. If not, I’d group study with them. I get a healthier aura from this group of people.

I also see people showing a huge disgust over a person because of a flaw. “I don’t like [person’s name], because ______.” Okay, I get it if a person is not being liked because of something really bad he/ she did. But for a flaw? Being hated so much already when he/ she can still change. Why?!

There is a person who I know who was being hated because of his tactlessness. Okay, I am a victim too by it. He maybe tactless at times, but I know he is not that bad. He needed to work on that aspect – on dealing with others/ on being more conscious of his actions. This person admitted to me that he is aware about it and he is trying to do something about it. I actually told him directly about it and he was open. After all, he is not that bad. I can see that he is improving. See, there is still hope for people to change so stop with the hatred. Just be patient.

Another person I know that people didn’t like and it was because of his boastfulness. I understand why. He went overboard in bragging his medals. People talked behind his back. Okay, count me in, but not as bad as the others. Others, made it seem like he was a very bad person. I express to people the times I witness him being boastful and that I hope he will change. There was an activity where you have to write something about them in everyone’s paper. I placed, “be more humble.” So instead of making someone a topic for gossip, tell them directly. After that incident, he didn’t brag anymore.

I know of a person who people didn’t like because of he has low tolerance in dealing with pressure and all that. But now, I can see that he is improving. That he responds to situations better. The thing is, people needed to be patient. Patience is what the world lacks. 😦 PS: People don’t know he suffer ADHD but erase the being hyper.

We have the right to express our thoughts, that includes our thoughts of a person. Please, be prudent. Don’t spread hate. Something of a person may irritate you or displease you, but please be patient and understanding. Whenever we gossip, we unconsciously make ourselves better than the other person. That shouldn’t be. We shall help one another rather than destroying each other. Our world is so destroyed. Don’t destroy it even more. 😦

 

ACHIEVEMENTS

 

I’m graduating! Yay! Lately, I was asked to fill up stuff for the yearbook. Just earlier, I was filling up my achievements the past 4 years. I can’t believe that I have a lot. :O

Okay, this post is not to brag.

I never thought of receiving these achievements. The opportunities just came to me. My perseverance and determination has drove me through out the years. But these particular opportunities and achievements came by. That’s why I would humble express my joy and gratitude when it comes to my achievements. It would take me time to enumerate my achievements I have to say but it is only I who exactly know what I’ve been through in the middle on road of being where I am now. That’s why I would like to be humble when I talk about my achievements and may it inspires others to walk their own paths.

Embrace your achievements but still continue to move forward and to walk your paths. Be humble, always 🙂

Don’t Judge

Don’t ever judge a person who has gone through rejections, defeats, and failures. Don’t shove it in front of their face, “Oh that person can’t accept failures/defeats/ rejections!” Because it is not easy and it hurts. It takes process to heal from a certain failure, rejection, or defeat. Give that person time. Acknowledge the fact that they still remain strong despite what happened to them.

It feels so nice

My mom met up with her friends. She proudly said the number of involvements I have in and outside school to her friends. Her friends were amazed of how far I’ve reach. I feel so flattered. It just feels so nice that your mom said that to all her friends in front of you. It comes to show how much she has recognized my efforts.

Despite that, I still got to be humble. I may tell you my involvements and achievements anytime but in between getting to where I am, I have moments of setbacks. I did started at the beginning. My will power to continue led me to where I am today. Also, there are so many people who I have to thank. Like those people who saw my potential when I didn’t see it in myself and who had confidence in me when I didn’t. Certain factors pushed me to where I am now. I’ve got to be always humble no matter how far I’ll even go.

What’s with my body?

Often am I complimented for my physique, particularly certain parts of my body. People compliments for my boobs, butt, dimples, teeth, hair, skin, eyelashes, and etc. People tell me I’m blessed. I embrace the good parts of my body. But seriously, I see these parts just a part of my one entire body. When people compare their boobs to mine, it seems like it is a big deal. Okay okay, I fit the status quo’s standards of an ideal body. But to me, what even? Their is this consciousness about bodies. You have to have the curves to fit into the standards. There is this ideal sexy. Again, what even? I thank those who complimented me but we should not dwell to much to fit into those standards. There are more important things than about fitting in the ideal sexy such as raising your voice and taking action when it comes to social issues. It would be better if the people would maximize their potential than to make a fuss about their physical appearance. And, your bodies shouldn’t be a measure of one’s confidence. What I mean by that, if you don’t really fit into that standard, your confidence goes down. No, that shouldn’t be the case. Be confident in your own being no matter how your bodies are shaped.

How to Break the Nervousness

I am not the most confident person to tell you this. I too get nervous but all throughout my struggles of trying to combat my nervousness, I’ve discovered insights on how to calm the nerves, especially in being in front of an audience.

  1. Relax – that should be the highlight
  2. Don’t worry too much on what will become of your audience’s reaction. You are not here to please them. Express and not impress
  3. It’s okay to make mistakes. If you made a mistake, don’t dwell too much on the mistake. Learn from it and move on.
  4. Perform out of passion then you will forget that you were actually nervous.
  5. Let the confidence outweigh the nervousness. Think of possibilities as to why you are capable of doing well. Play in your mind words like, “I can do this!”
  6. Think about those people who believes in you. It is a good self–motivator.
  7. Preparation is a must. Think about how much you worked for it.
  8. Expose yourself to an audience more often. The more you will get use to being in front of the crowd, the less nervous and more confident you get, because performing has already become a part of you.
  9. Think about the bigger purpose of your performance.
  10. Lastly and most importantly, PRAY!!

I hope that these tips will help you because it has helped me. I did struggle with my confidence but now I am breaking the barrier of my doubt in myself. We are all in this together.

Who said that I’m FC (feeling close)?

Today in class, we had to write in each person’s paper anything about the person. Ex. “kind”

Summary of what my classmates has written: kind, helpful, generous, responsible, friendly, down to earth, diligent

I’m touched by what my classmates wrote. But that word bothered me. That’s FC. Who wrote that?

Hmm.. I guess we have different definition of feeling close.

Anyway, maybe that could be mistaken for my friendliness. I do socialize with my classmates like when someone is right beside me and I say Hi, as an acknowledgement and have a short convo with them. I don’t just but in a group conversation. Especially if it is a group I don’t really associate with so much. Also, I don’t but in privacy of others. So how am I FC?

I talk/ give a notice (like saying hi) to people because I acknowledge them.

Knowing myself, I am not FC. I just want to be friends with people. I want to interact and relate with people. It is better to be acknowledged than to be ignored.

 

Bravery I’m all about

I don’t get afraid of what the common external things people get scared of such as the ff.

  • Spiders
  • Snakes
  • Heights
  • Injection
  • Thunder
  • Darkness
  • Adventurous stuff (like zip lines)
  • Sparring
  • Ghost

People like my parents see me as a fighter. They see me as a brave girl. I don’t get scared of these things. But my fear is what’s within.

So many times I’ve held myself back because of the fear of failure. But I’m learning to overcome that fear. I’ve realized that at times we are bound to fail and I shouldn’t be so hard on my mistakes. I’ve just got to learn from them. I’m the person who worries a lot. I get tense. But I’m glad to say that slowly I am overcoming that. There are times I let the pressure get into me, when in fact there is no pressure at all. I’m just pressuring myself so hard. I’ve been such a try hard when I could just let things be. But I’m proud to say that I’ve gain strength to rise from those moments I’ve held myself back. Bravery I’m all about.

So, choose to be brave. I know we all have different fears. I may not be afraid of the things you are afraid of and I respect that. But together we’ve got to face our fear. We can’t always run away from our fears forever. Conquering one’s fear is such a noble act.

How I deal with insecurities

Okay. So I’m jealous this very smart person in my class. Also this Classmate who is a singer-composer and she becoming more famous for her talent. Also include those other multi-talented people. I’m jealous of my co-teammates who keeps on winning medals. I’m jealous of people who are physically attractive for they get the people’s attention. I’m jealous of those who always seem to be confident.

As much as I want to get rid of these insecurities. The insecurity is still there. Insecurities did lower my confidence.

So how do I deal with it?

1.) I replay those moments wherein people has seen my potential/ good side of me

•Replay in my mind the good words people said about me. Examples: Awesome, talented, smart, kind, etc. Also include those times people tell me, “you are so good at (this/that)”

2.) I enumerate those things about me that I am proud of. It is a self-motivator. Despite the insecurities, it reminds me that there are a lot of things about me to embrace.

3.) I pursue my passions. I am making a name for myself. It reminds me, “Oh why be jealous when there is something uniquely Great about you?”

Insecurities will always be there. Despite this, fill your thoughts with self affirmations. It makes you think again, “Why should you waste your time being insecure? Show them what you got!”

You may do the 3 things I’ve mentioned.

 

Insecurities isn’t easy to deal with. But use it as a motivation to show the world what you’ve got.

“Grades don’t necessarily matter. You fail at some point in your life. What matters is the hard work you put in what you are doing despite the likeliness of you failing. I think that is where our fear begin, FAILURE. We fear failure to the point that we beat ourselves once we fail. It’s okay to fail. We all do. No one is perfect. Just keep moving forward. You have the right to be disappointed and frustrated. Don’t just give up. Giving up shouldn’t be in your dictionary.”

Where do I get my patience?

People tell me that I am patient especially in dealing with others. According to them, you don’t really see that in people now a days. I was told that it’s a skill to be patient because not everyone is patient. But where do I get my patience? 

Okay, people don’t see me mad, like angry mad. I do express my frustration at times but not in a manner that I burst up. But a warning to those people who knows me, don’t ever make me mad or you would regret it. I could be your worse enemy because I do have the aggressiveness in which I don’t show to people. I don’t really get mad in front of people and I’d rather not.

I guess it’s is my personal experiences that led me to be patient and understanding to others. Maybe someone acts this certain way because that person is going through something. Who am I to lose my patience to that someone. And in times when I person can’t things right at first, I tell myself, “Who am I to give up on this person? That person is still learning.” Whenever I have grudges towards a person, I’d rather address it to the person than holding on to the grudge and losing my patience.”

Everyday our patience is being challenged. That annoying person in class may irritate me to the point my patience is tested but I am not the type who blows up. I just don’t like seeing people blow up, losing their temper, and hating on others because it changes the aura of the atmosphere.

Be patient and kind to everyone around you even though there are people you just want to punch because their behavior/ attitude has gone so far. Being patient and kind just makes things light and easier for you and those around you. Don’t let your frustration/ anger eat you up. 🙂

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