REMEMBER YOUR DREAM – Motivational Video

 


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POEMS: means of letting it out

Never did I make poems consistently in the past. I guess it’s because, as of the moment, it feels heavy inside.

Life Update: I recently graduated junior highschool. I am proceding senior high in a new school soon. Before I left off my alma matter, I carried feelings of: guilt, anger, sadness, depression, and the like. In short, it didn’t end well. I left school with memories of bad experiences. Even though months have already past, I feel traumatize. My adviser would always say, “Cherish your moments being together because you will all go to different universities.” What happened, for my last year, I felt that I longer belong there and it was about time to leave soon. I hated the negative vibe I was feeling from the people around me. I always say, “I want to leave.” I came across quotes saying, “If you are in a place that is no longer beneficial to you, leave.” Despite that, I was torned between saying goodbye to friends and following what my heart desires. I made the hardest decision in my life: Transferring (in order to start again) in the expense of friends.

My days have been so tough. Early this year, everything was falling apart. But as they say, after a storm comes a rainbow. Receiving the news that I got in the university I applied to, everything is going back in place. I realize that, prior my struggles, God is redirecting somewhere according to his plan.

I tell you, the process isn’t easy. The road to adulting isn’t easy but it really is time to grow up. And that’s why I decided to make a proper compilation of my poems in wattpad, to let it all out. And I believe, people, like you, can relate to my poems. Please do check it out. 😊

https://embed.wattpad.com/story/150333996

Writing poems allowed me to let it out. As well as talking to trusted friends in this transition.

We all have bad days and have our moments of being lost. It makes us humans after all. You just have to let it out properly and not allow the negativity in your life destroy you. Yes, I just came from a hard past and it really hurts even until now. But I am stronger now than my foolish junior high self. So, see you soon senior high!

MUST READ// Lessons I’ve Learned After Being Called WEIRD Behind My Back

One day, my classmate told me that people said that I was weird behind my back. Ouch that actually hurt. These people who said don’t know me, I told myself. They don’t know my background. (At some point, I wish I didn’t study in a school full of rich kids who rely on the fact that they live such comfortable lives) But it still hurt s because that meant in a bad way. I didn’t know how to accept that because in the very first place, I was uncertain about myself at that time. I had depression at that time and being said so made things worse. But because of that, I got to know more about myself. I knew how to distinguish what is true and not true about me. I’ve learned that weird is subjective. I don’t know why I was being labeled so. I may be the odd one among peers (that’s probably why they said I was weird. I just don’t know with them) because my interest is not align to what is mainstream. I’m just a simple person who would rather not go with the crowd. My happiness is on what I am passionate about. That actually makes me exceptional. For I am unique. I guess that is what they don’t appreciate.

I’ve learned so many lessons from this.

A message I have to say,

Know yourself. That is very important. So that in cases when people bring you down (maybe behind your back), you would know how to stand up for yourself and handle the situation. If I were certain about myself when I was told so, I’d know how to accept it positively. But because I was so uncertain about myself, I went all emotional.

Another thing, you can’t please everyone. I guess it was due to peer pressure (thanks a lot hormones for activating :P) that led me to want impress people around. I wanted to be accepted. I opted to achieve a lot. But in the end of the day, you can’t please everyone and that’s fine. Just do your best in what you do.

To those who called me weird, you don’t know me so well and what I am even capable of.  Okay, I’m weird but in a good way for I goof around. Weird is subjective. But please don’t refer weird to a person who may be odd among the crowd. I’ve learned form this experience that there are people who just can’t accept personal differences. Ugh.

No one has the right to back stab a person. Ever! I’m serious! Gossip is hardly uplifting. You hardly know the lives and feelings of those are gossiping.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But address them in a prudent way. Don’t ever downgrade a person, especially behind their backs.

I guess that experience had to happen in order for me to prove them wrong. Probably, circumstance will lead so to happen. These people better watch out. For a person who aspires, I will be out there one day.

Also, Compliments mean a lot. Have that habit of complimenting a person because whether you know it or not, you are uplifting others. That is what happened to me. Compliments helped me got up from knowing that I was actually was labeled weird. I embraced the good qualities about myself due to the uplifting compliments.

Lastly, Accept your flaws. Maybe another reason why I was called weird was because was my flaw. At some point I felt they used it against me. Anyway, everyone has something to fix about themselves. Don’t be too focused in looking at others flaws. Mind your own business.

This experience is such an opener to me in so many angles. I’m sharing this experience to you. I hope that you will be inspired!

Being an outspoken person, I will continue to raise my voice through this blog. Thank once again! 🙂

How to Break the Nervousness

I am not the most confident person to tell you this. I too get nervous but all throughout my struggles of trying to combat my nervousness, I’ve discovered insights on how to calm the nerves, especially in being in front of an audience.

  1. Relax – that should be the highlight
  2. Don’t worry too much on what will become of your audience’s reaction. You are not here to please them. Express and not impress
  3. It’s okay to make mistakes. If you made a mistake, don’t dwell too much on the mistake. Learn from it and move on.
  4. Perform out of passion then you will forget that you were actually nervous.
  5. Let the confidence outweigh the nervousness. Think of possibilities as to why you are capable of doing well. Play in your mind words like, “I can do this!”
  6. Think about those people who believes in you. It is a good self–motivator.
  7. Preparation is a must. Think about how much you worked for it.
  8. Expose yourself to an audience more often. The more you will get use to being in front of the crowd, the less nervous and more confident you get, because performing has already become a part of you.
  9. Think about the bigger purpose of your performance.
  10. Lastly and most importantly, PRAY!!

I hope that these tips will help you because it has helped me. I did struggle with my confidence but now I am breaking the barrier of my doubt in myself. We are all in this together.

Perks of being in a new school

By August, I will be in a new school, for the first time in forever. I am very excited because doors will be open for new experiences and new faces. I am sure that I will be culture-shocked. Well, I shall learn how to adapt to a new environment.

Since I haven’t started officially in my new school, I will enumerate my before-school experience or application days, as of now.

  • I had no clue what is it like to apply to a new school. So I was bugging my cousin on how to apply, and what are the requirements.
  • I had second thoughts. I asked myself, “Do I really want to do this?” I wasn’t 100% ready for all this.
  • In my application form, I wrote my old school/alma matter’s name multiple times. Well that is the only school I’ve grown up from kinder to high school. Hahaha #loyal
  • I utter, “I’m finally leaving!”
  • Often asked, “Are you excited for (new school)?”
  • Enrollment schedules/ procedures from my old school/alma matter, became irrelevant. For the 1st time.
  • It’s hard to let go. My alma matter is the only life I’ve ever known.
  • The memories brings more nostalgia than it did before
  • Who knew how hard it will say goodbye?
  • After being used to carrying old school’s papers/forms for all these years, I am carrying papers with a different school logo.
  • I am so shocked by the university’s population.
  • LOST. The university’s ground is bigger than my high school alma matter.
  • I am questioning, “How to make friends?”
  • Recently just fit for a different uniform.

Well that’s it for now. I am really looking forward to my new school.

Shameless blog. If you are into poetry or you a fan of my poetry (hahaha :P) please check out my compilation of my poems in wattpad. Thank you 🙂

Emotions Unexplained

School – related Q&A

Since it’s back-to-school season (in the Philippines), I will have q&a about my school life.

  1. What was your favorite subject at school? Why? – Social Studies and I just don’t know why. I am just so into it.
  2. What do you and your friends do during your lunch break? – Eat lunch of course. We also chat with each other. We also cram.
  3. Did you get a lot of homework? Do you think it helped you learn? – Yes. It helped me learn how to manage my time and stress.
  4. Are you allowed to eat in the classrooms?- No but some of my classmates are rebels
  5. Have you ever slept in class?- Yes but not during discussion of the teacher. Only free time when I can.
  6. What is your best memory from junior high school? – A lot. Generally those stupid days in class and with my friends.
  7. How often do you have exams? – Almost every time
  8. Describe your perfect teacher. – A teacher who knows what she/ he is doing at the same time considerate
  9. Do you get annoyed by your classmates? – Yes because they are so loud but actually they are really fun
  10. Do you cheat an exam? – No never. I am such a good student.
  11. Do you hold any position in school? – class monitor
  12. What is something that is being asked from you in school, that you dislike? – Being asked to memorize tons of useless stuff
  13. Do you procrastinate? – At times yes. But it isn’t and shouldn’t be an everyday thing.
  14. Do you pull an all nighter just to study – When I have to
  15. How do you feel/react when you get a bad grade? – I tell myself that I could have done better
  16. Have you ever skipped classes? – No.
  17. What is your goal in school? – Good grades and to actually make it through.
  18. How do you deal with stress in school? – listen to music
  19. What are you to your classmates? – the responsible one
  20. Something you hate about school? – waking up early

Okay that’s it for now. I may add up later in the future.

Don’t Judge

Don’t ever judge a person who has gone through rejections, defeats, and failures. Don’t shove it in front of their face, “Oh that person can’t accept failures/defeats/ rejections!” Because it is not easy and it hurts. It takes process to heal from a certain failure, rejection, or defeat. Give that person time. Acknowledge the fact that they still remain strong despite what happened to them.

What’s with my body?

Often am I complimented for my physique, particularly certain parts of my body. People compliments for my boobs, butt, dimples, teeth, hair, skin, eyelashes, and etc. People tell me I’m blessed. I embrace the good parts of my body. But seriously, I see these parts just a part of my one entire body. When people compare their boobs to mine, it seems like it is a big deal. Okay okay, I fit the status quo’s standards of an ideal body. But to me, what even? Their is this consciousness about bodies. You have to have the curves to fit into the standards. There is this ideal sexy. Again, what even? I thank those who complimented me but we should not dwell to much to fit into those standards. There are more important things than about fitting in the ideal sexy such as raising your voice and taking action when it comes to social issues. It would be better if the people would maximize their potential than to make a fuss about their physical appearance. And, your bodies shouldn’t be a measure of one’s confidence. What I mean by that, if you don’t really fit into that standard, your confidence goes down. No, that shouldn’t be the case. Be confident in your own being no matter how your bodies are shaped.

What is it all the Hate & Gossip?

I hate the toxic kind of environment we are all living. A world where there is hate and back stabbing. Yes, I’ve been back-stab, and been a topic for gossip. I don’t know why. What did I even do when all I’ve been doing is not minding your business and rendering whatever service I can give?

I was told by my friend, “They were talking about you and they were disrespecting you when you are even way better than them.” To my friend, thank you for being honest with me even if I’ll react to it sensitively.

Call me whatever you want. Call me “weird” or whatever you want, in the end of the day, whatever faulty things you have said to others will go back to you.

Another friend was asked by another person, “Why are you even friends with her?” Don’t you know how much that hurts. I am sorry if I don’t get you a good first impression. But please don’t say such things without really knowing me and what I’ve been through first. Okay?! So to those people who talk trash about me, watch out once you see me go farther in life!

I know that to my family, teachers, friends, and all those who knows me better, I am a well-mannered person. So to those talking trash about me, you are defining me wrongly.

While I received my own taste of close-mindedness of people. I’ve been a witness to a person being bullied behind their backs.

This person, who is a friend of mine, has been talked badly about. Okay, I get it. He may have faults. But you have no right to bring him down by giving him names or mocking him, especially if you don’t know what he is going through.

He told me that is he is not in good terms with his family, his grades were in the line, he has many regrets and many fights. I didn’t know how to respond because it was too heavy already on his part. I still saw the good in him while others look into his faults. I do believe he still has room to improve.

This guy is not the only person who I witness being brought down by people. There are a lot more.

It really hurts when people are so mean, (even worse behind other’s back). If there is something wrong with a person, tell them properly, instead of mocking and spreading gossip and hate. To everyone, fix yourselves before judging other people. Do you think that you are so perfect? No. Stop with that ego of yours if you have issues with that.

We have the right to express our thoughts, that includes our thoughts of a person. Please, be prudent. Don’t spread hate. Something of a person may irritate you or displease you, but please be patient and understanding. Whenever we gossip, we unconsciously make ourselves better than the other person. That shouldn’t be. We shall help one another rather than destroying each other. Our world is so destroyed. Don’t destroy it even more. 😦

 

Follows/Likes/ Comments: Does it matter?

I’m talking about the blogging world. So okay…

I’ve been going through post that is about ways to get your post get, likes, etc. Don’t get me wrong, likes, follows, comments mean a lot to me because it means my post were being read and notice. I really appreciate it. But the number of it, does it really matter?  To me, no! My intention is not the to get hundred of followers, or to get endless likes and comments. My intention is to share a message and to tell my story. My blog is not as aesthetic as the rest. Mine is pretty simple. My blog are coming from my thoughts and heart. I hope it gets noticed but it’s fine if hundreds won’t see it. A few number of people who care to read my post is good enough. To me, it’s better to get less than a hundred followers because they can relate to me/ my post than getting 100+ who just follow me for the sake of following alone. One’s worth is not on the likes, follows or comments. It is on how you carry yourself online or offline.

My own taste of failure

I know that failure is a part of life, but once we make the biggest mistake in our life it is so hard to forgive ourselves. To even move on from the situation.

I am a 17 (turning 18) years old. I have gone far already and I looking forward to go even further.

Beyond every success story I share (winning medals/ awards, graduation, etc.), there were babysteps to it. There were moments I failed, got rejected and had my down moments. I’ll give you a glimpse.

•There was tournament where everyone in my team got a medal, and I didn’t.

•I am now a blackbelt, but back then my forms were not as precise. I failed to get the advanced kicks/stunts right.

•There were subjects that I was failing.

•As a debater, I messed up in rounds.

•As a daughter/ student, I failed to be discipline at some point.

•I failed on anger, stress, and time management,

•I failed to bond with my family and friends because I was so preoccupied

•I failed to get in choir because I was off pitch

•I got out of my school paper because the new moderator said I was skeptic.

•I failed in my dealings with people

•Before getting in the school I applied to, I was actually waitlisted.

•I used to be the girl who always get tense

•I failed on protecting my mental health

•I failed on being positive and confident

•I failed on dealing with my insecurities

•I failed on not minding what people say

•I got rejected my own classmates to be part of their groups in a performance task.

Okay people maybe congratulating me for my success, or telling me that I’m their inspiration/ they look up to me, or seeing me as a well rounded person. But I am actually a FAILURE.

I am on my vacation. I am using this time to heal the wounds of the hard past and to regain my confidence back.

I know regrets, failures will always be there. But by the last few months of school where I experience my downfall insanely.

It is still hard to forgive myself and move on. I intentionally want to forget what went wrong and cherish what went right. Anyway, it is all over. I had my foolish moments. We all do. We are all human being anyway.

My remedy now is going outdoors, sports, writing, listening to music, dancing, watching videos/ movies, spending time with love ones, etc.

As you can see, all my recent poems are emotional, dramatic. That is how I feel right now. I just have to let it go.

The hard past serves as lesson to be more mature and to strengthen my foundation from anything that brings me down.

I thank my parents above all for believing in me. To my dad, thank you sharing your story before being a cum lau de. According to him, he didn’t do so well in his earlier school days. To my mom, thank you for inspiring me not to settle for less. She currently earned her doctorate degree in Education. I know more what  they have been through before reaching to where they are.

I am more than my failures and my defeats. I strive to be a better version of myself. Failures don’t define me. I’d do what it takes to reach my goals.

 

 

 

 

 

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