Defying the Odds

It is now July and it is the start of the 2nd of 2018. The first half were not the best. I am going to a new school a month from now.

My friend recently asked me what was my average. I said, “89.” Then she said, “So close to 90.” Yes I know! I actually wanted 90+ but considering what I’ve been through, it is already good enough. I actually expected worse.

Then my friend asked me, “How did I do it?” I said, “I don’t really know. God is just so good.”

I don’t know how teacher compute our grades. Just like everyone else, there were exams that I badly failed. Still defy the odd of my unexpected average.

My friend asked me, what were my study habits. I said that I take a power nap in my car as I go home so that as I reach home I am energized to study. I’m a forgetful person so I have a to do list. I take power rest when I get too tired of studying. I too listen to music.

Traffic in my city is getting worse so I end up going home really late. And the education system in the Philippines is really bad. Everyday starting with a 7:30 class, then ends at 4:30 goes home as late as 6 or 7 because of the traffic, then sleeps at 10-12 just to finish the never ending deadlines. This schedule is very inhumane. I end up getting so sick, my mental health is being wrecked, then there goes the pressure of maintaining the grades, dealing with family and other people as well. This is all too much. I did mention also that I am anemic, making things heavier for me.

I still defy the odds. I was focusing on my goal. So no matter the circumstances that are bringing me down, I still worked hard. No matter the how many exams I failed, I studied as much as I can. Take it from me, “Do your best! Even though you feel like giving up. Who knows you can still make through? Don’t let the bad stop you. Use it as a motivation. At the same time, learn from your mistakes.” 🙂 

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What we can learn from bad experiences

I do believe that we all had our lowest points in our lives. May it be, family dispute, low grades, miss-out opportunities, having to say goodbye, being bullied/brought down, anxiety, depression, failures, etc.

My lowest points in my life was 3 months ago. Though it maybe quite sometime already, I still deeply hurt by it. I may now have a blurry vission of what happened, but I can still feel it’s pain. I am still holding feelings of anger, regret, sadness and the like.

Going through a hard times is hell but these are the moments where I learned the greatest lessons

#1. Know your self-worth and affirm it – hard times goes with along with so much self-doubts. But you can’t always have to beat yourself.

I was being talked behind my back. It hurts so much and I loss confidence. I force to tell myself that these people don’t know what they are talking about. It made me determined to surpass them so that they will take back what they said. (Lesson #2)

#2. Make it your determination to do/ make your life better 

#3. Your hardest moments are your greatest lessons. 

#4. Learn from it

#5. It is okay to cry about it

#6. It is all temporary

#7. Things will be better

#8. Still keep on moving forward

#9. Stand tall no matter what

#10. A bad past won’t measure who you are/ what will you become/ where you will be. – Not even a bad grade

#11. Congratulate yourself for being courageous

#12. You are becoming an inspiration 

#13. Not everyone will understand you at this point in your life and it’s okay

#14. Real friends will be there. Know who they are.

#15. You will never walk alone.

#16. Help is there.

#17. Express your struggles to your most trusted friends

#18. It makes you stronger

#19. It open you to new chances and opportunites

#20. Above all, God will lead the way

I was at my lowest point few months ago. I even question if God is even there. When I look at it now, it all makes sense. Things are falling back to place.

 

 

What is it Like to Have a Mom who is a Teacher

My mom is a college teacher and I am blessed to have her. Being a daughter of a teacher, I know more the struggles of a teachers than my peers. I’ve seen the behind the scenes of a teacher through my mom. Now I am going to share them to you. I’ll also include what is like being a daughter of a teacher.

  • People think my mom tutors me – No that is not true. I study on my own. She is so busy to have time to tutor me. But whenever I need help and I believe that she can help me, I go to her. 🙂
  • My mom is a teacher in the campus; a mother at home – An entire day of teaching is really tiring and my mom has to attend to me as she gets home. She is juggling her duties as a mother and as a teacher.
  • I always see my mom working on paper works – She checks her students papers even on holidays. Teachers have deadlines too. ✍️
  • My house is filled with reference books, notebooks, papers, and school supplies – Duh my mom is a teacher. 📚
  • In times I’m required to have this specific material, I can just ask her. – I can ask a folder from her
  • I’d would see my mom receiving gifts on Teacher’s day, Valentines, Christmas, and etc. 🎁💐
  • My mom would lecture me on the field of education – she would talk to about research, courses, etc. I get to explain to my friends what I learn from my mom.
  • My mom’s students would ask me if my mom is strict & tell me how good my mom is as a teacher
  • I can freely rant to my mom about certain teachers and the education system – Because my mom is a teacher herself. I rant to her about memorizing outweighs understanding. Good news, she doesn’t like it either.
  • I can see the flaw better in the education system
  • I reuse/ recycle the used papers, folders, envelops, etc. of my mom’s students ♻️
  • I witness the used test papers and such being thrown away – so heart breaking. 💔
  • I’ve decided that I don’t want to be a teacher – It really is a struggle
  • I go home late – I have to wait for my mom to finish her tons of stuff to do. She goes home late if her students pass their requirements late. Please don’t pass your requirements late. Thanks!
  • I witness the passion of my mom in teaching – Even though she is tired already, She just loves her job.
  • There is no escape once I have a bad grade –  My mom knows the grading system.
  • I witness my mom caring about her reputation even outside the house – She has to be a good role model
  • I witness how my mom has inspire lives
  • There are times wherein I am forced to go to my mom’s office because she still has stuff to accomplish – This is in times when I have no classes.
  • Whenever people realize my last name, they will recognize that I am my mom’s daughter
  • If ever I’m in trouble in school, teachers can just contact my mom – Actually, my mom used to teach in my school but she transferred to another school long time ago. But I’m under teachers who are apparently friends with my mom. So I can’t fool around.
  • I was once told, “You are smart because your mom is a teacher” – What does that have to do with my mom? 🤔
  • I feel like a celebrity whenever I meet my mom’s co- teachers
  • I join my mom’s co- teachers in meals – There are times wherein I get free food.
  • I find it entertaining when I see my mom scolds a student. 😁😁
  • I better do my homework
  • I have developed a huge respect to teachers out there

It’s so amazing to have a mom who is a teacher. Yes, she may go beast mode as she reach home but in the end of the day she is still passionate in teaching at the same time a loving mother to me.

Please don’t take your teachers for granted because it is not only you who they are attending.

TEACHERS, EYES HERE!!

Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire. “For the mind does not require filling like a bottle, but rather, like wood, it only requires kindling to create in it an impulse to think independently and an ardent desire for the truth.” — Plutarch

I hate it when teachers give us exams too knowledge based. In order for a student to pass the exam, they have to know the exact knowledge the teacher has. With this, students can’t learn whatever knowledge their teachers share to them in their own different ways. What comes out of our mind when it comes to the school system is memorization. It is not like we are going to carry whatever we memorize in our school days in our working fields. Only a few percentage of that memorization will be applicable in every individual working profession. If teachers makes us memorize, may it be sensible and applicable. May we draw connections in whatever we are memorizing to real life. STUDENTS SHOULDN’T BE PLAINLY MEMORIZING.

That Annoying Spoiled Brat

That kid though. She is only grade 1 or 2 but still…

When my friends and I were chatting in a chilly afternoon, there was this random grade 1 or 2 girl who asked for money. She was asking for 800+ for a notebook and a pen in the book fair. We told her that we don’t have money. She was insisting on buying that notebook. That notebook was big and it is for her tutor. According to her, her tutor writes a lot of stuff on her notebook. She said also that her parents would not let her buy that notebook because it was too expensive. Exactly! Yet, she insisted on buying the notebook. We told her that she can get a cheaper notebook instead. We also told her that she can buy that notebook somewhere else. We got so annoyed. No matter what, she still insisted on buying the notebook. We all got irritated in the end.

What happened got our attention of how spoiled she is. To the girl, I know that you are so young to understand the value of money and the value about simplicity and joy. I hope this experience will make you learn the ff:
1.) You can’t get everything you want
2.) It is hard for your parents to earn money. The best thing that you can do is not to be a brat.
3.) Appreciate what you have. Be simple. Don’t live in a world of Materialism
4.) Be wise on what you spend on. Spend your money on more practical stuff. Every day, there are so many things to be paid.
5.) Know the difference between a need and a want.
6.) There are so many people who are struggling for money. Don’t just ask a huge amount (like 800+) out of nowhere. This is our way to give justice to the poor.

We are so irritated of what happened. We did what we could. It is up to her now. May this experience open our minds to what is happening to the younger people (like that girl) of today. We can’t tolerate seeing kids growing up like brats. Let’s hope that things will change. Especially to that spoiled brat who approached us.

Speaking of grades

Strive for excellence not perfection. I don’t really stress myself about getting perfect in all exams. I’m an imperfect person in the very first place. I care about doing my part as student and doing my best. I still want to learn in the long run. Not on what is in the textbook alone. I would want to to learn life lessons that will make me an open person. I care about learning more than the grades. Because grades don’t necessary define how smart you are. You don’t come to school to be on top of your classmates. You come to school to learn applicable lessons (not all lessons may seem applicable, but still) that will not make you an ignorant and close minded person in this planet. There are so many ignorant and close minded people in this world but one’s education will surely make a difference. Study hard no matter what.


I wrote this when I was fighting for my grades

Perks of being in a new school

By August, I will be in a new school, for the first time in forever. I am very excited because doors will be open for new experiences and new faces. I am sure that I will be culture-shocked. Well, I shall learn how to adapt to a new environment.

Since I haven’t started officially in my new school, I will enumerate my before-school experience or application days, as of now.

  • I had no clue what is it like to apply to a new school. So I was bugging my cousin on how to apply, and what are the requirements.
  • I had second thoughts. I asked myself, “Do I really want to do this?” I wasn’t 100% ready for all this.
  • In my application form, I wrote my old school/alma matter’s name multiple times. Well that is the only school I’ve grown up from kinder to high school. Hahaha #loyal
  • I utter, “I’m finally leaving!”
  • Often asked, “Are you excited for (new school)?”
  • Enrollment schedules/ procedures from my old school/alma matter, became irrelevant. For the 1st time.
  • It’s hard to let go. My alma matter is the only life I’ve ever known.
  • The memories brings more nostalgia than it did before
  • Who knew how hard it will say goodbye?
  • After being used to carrying old school’s papers/forms for all these years, I am carrying papers with a different school logo.
  • I am so shocked by the university’s population.
  • LOST. The university’s ground is bigger than my high school alma matter.
  • I am questioning, “How to make friends?”
  • Recently just fit for a different uniform.

Well that’s it for now. I am really looking forward to my new school.

Shameless blog. If you are into poetry or you a fan of my poetry (hahaha :P) please check out my compilation of my poems in wattpad. Thank you 🙂

Emotions Unexplained

School – related Q&A

Since it’s back-to-school season (in the Philippines), I will have q&a about my school life.

  1. What was your favorite subject at school? Why? – Social Studies and I just don’t know why. I am just so into it.
  2. What do you and your friends do during your lunch break? – Eat lunch of course. We also chat with each other. We also cram.
  3. Did you get a lot of homework? Do you think it helped you learn? – Yes. It helped me learn how to manage my time and stress.
  4. Are you allowed to eat in the classrooms?- No but some of my classmates are rebels
  5. Have you ever slept in class?- Yes but not during discussion of the teacher. Only free time when I can.
  6. What is your best memory from junior high school? – A lot. Generally those stupid days in class and with my friends.
  7. How often do you have exams? – Almost every time
  8. Describe your perfect teacher. – A teacher who knows what she/ he is doing at the same time considerate
  9. Do you get annoyed by your classmates? – Yes because they are so loud but actually they are really fun
  10. Do you cheat an exam? – No never. I am such a good student.
  11. Do you hold any position in school? – class monitor
  12. What is something that is being asked from you in school, that you dislike? – Being asked to memorize tons of useless stuff
  13. Do you procrastinate? – At times yes. But it isn’t and shouldn’t be an everyday thing.
  14. Do you pull an all nighter just to study – When I have to
  15. How do you feel/react when you get a bad grade? – I tell myself that I could have done better
  16. Have you ever skipped classes? – No.
  17. What is your goal in school? – Good grades and to actually make it through.
  18. How do you deal with stress in school? – listen to music
  19. What are you to your classmates? – the responsible one
  20. Something you hate about school? – waking up early

Okay that’s it for now. I may add up later in the future.

My own taste of failure

I know that failure is a part of life, but once we make the biggest mistake in our life it is so hard to forgive ourselves. To even move on from the situation.

I am a 17 (turning 18) years old. I have gone far already and I looking forward to go even further.

Beyond every success story I share (winning medals/ awards, graduation, etc.), there were babysteps to it. There were moments I failed, got rejected and had my down moments. I’ll give you a glimpse.

•There was tournament where everyone in my team got a medal, and I didn’t.

•I am now a blackbelt, but back then my forms were not as precise. I failed to get the advanced kicks/stunts right.

•There were subjects that I was failing.

•As a debater, I messed up in rounds.

•As a daughter/ student, I failed to be discipline at some point.

•I failed on anger, stress, and time management,

•I failed to bond with my family and friends because I was so preoccupied

•I failed to get in choir because I was off pitch

•I got out of my school paper because the new moderator said I was skeptic.

•I failed in my dealings with people

•Before getting in the school I applied to, I was actually waitlisted.

•I used to be the girl who always get tense

•I failed on protecting my mental health

•I failed on being positive and confident

•I failed on dealing with my insecurities

•I failed on not minding what people say

•I got rejected my own classmates to be part of their groups in a performance task.

Okay people maybe congratulating me for my success, or telling me that I’m their inspiration/ they look up to me, or seeing me as a well rounded person. But I am actually a FAILURE.

I am on my vacation. I am using this time to heal the wounds of the hard past and to regain my confidence back.

I know regrets, failures will always be there. But by the last few months of school where I experience my downfall insanely.

It is still hard to forgive myself and move on. I intentionally want to forget what went wrong and cherish what went right. Anyway, it is all over. I had my foolish moments. We all do. We are all human being anyway.

My remedy now is going outdoors, sports, writing, listening to music, dancing, watching videos/ movies, spending time with love ones, etc.

As you can see, all my recent poems are emotional, dramatic. That is how I feel right now. I just have to let it go.

The hard past serves as lesson to be more mature and to strengthen my foundation from anything that brings me down.

I thank my parents above all for believing in me. To my dad, thank you sharing your story before being a cum lau de. According to him, he didn’t do so well in his earlier school days. To my mom, thank you for inspiring me not to settle for less. She currently earned her doctorate degree in Education. I know more what  they have been through before reaching to where they are.

I am more than my failures and my defeats. I strive to be a better version of myself. Failures don’t define me. I’d do what it takes to reach my goals.

 

 

 

 

 

POEM// JUST TOO SOON

Just too soon

Said my goodbye on that afternoon

A new chapter has just begun

The good old days are done

 

Entering this stage all of a sudden

Overthinking has flood in

Plans I already had

The opportunity cost makes me sad

 

I made my decision

To a place I envision

Choosing on my vocation

Calls for a separation

 

There are faces I’ll surely miss

Going for my dreams I can’t dismiss

It’s time to let go

Allowing myself to grow

I don’t get why people think less of themselves

I’ve encountered this so many times. When people gets complimented, they brush it off.

Ex: “You are so good (in _____)”  “You are smart.” “You are pretty/handsome.” “You are talented.”

Then the reply, “No, I’m not.”  “What are you talking about?” “I’m not as ____ as [person’s name]

My teacher said that is false modesty.

Why can’t you just give a “Thank you!”

I used to brush off compliments. Now, I say thank you or smile back.

Show that you appreciate the compliment even though you are not totally confident about it.

I’ve seen so many people with so much potential but they don’t even see it.

Everyone is busy at looking at everyone else to the point they fail to recognize their own capabilities.

I’m also guilty. 🙋🏻

I even said, “I wish I was as smart as [person’s name]” even though many said I am smart.

I even wished that I could dance like [person’s name], even though many said I am good in dancing.

I get jealous of the voice of this classmate, even though many has been starstruck with my voice as well.

It is good to compliment and to be complimented. Don’t be hesitant on your talent. We are talented and have our attributes. You don’t have to be like the other person. You are amazing just the way you are. You just have to recognize it.

Continue reading “I don’t get why people think less of themselves”

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