Family First

Family First above everything else. I love my family so much. ❤

What made me develop the very affection I have towards my family?

I love my family ever since the beginning. But in the year 2016, it was the time my immediate family got really close. Cousins, around my age specifically, who I don’t really hangout when we were kids are closer than ever. We are like a squad because there are around 12 of us. We would chat when we are not together. That is how close we have become. We weren’t as close when we were kids. I’d meet my clan, every now and then as compared to before, not so much. My titas and titos are more active in planning hangouts for us.

So many memories with my family were created. I have to say these are the best in my life. Whenever I spend time with my relatives, even for a day, I feel lighter inside. They just bring the positivity. The joy being with them just do so. The feeling when I am with my family is more genuine and joyful than being with my schoolmates. Do you feel the same way?

My family is who I can openly share my dreams and aspirations. So as with my stories. They really listen and support you. Unlike other people out there, I don’t feel like that they can relate to what I express about as compared to my family. Even though it would take a few months to see each other again, you know that they are there. That you are still in touch. It true when they say those who are far away cares about you more than those who are just right beside (if the saying goes that way)

School has been so stressful. That it will even take away my weekends. But whenever it’s family time, I’d pause my homework just to be with them. Even though I know my grades could be at risk. Family first. You can never bring back the moments of being with them. As a student, grades is a matter of life and death. Later in life people won’t really look back to what grades you got. Family is forever!

I don’t know why people my age is really longing for a love life. But in my case, family first. I don’t want to miss a thing with them. Family are the ones I am connected to ever since the beginning. I shall connect with the family before I connect with someone else.

Advertisements

My Stance on Crushes and Relationships

This post will come from a 17 year old point of view

Every time someone ask if I have a crush, I become so hesitant. Personally, I am not vocal about my crush to the public. But I do have a crush. Same crush for 3 years now.

Anyway, I am not like other teens out there. What I notice, people fall for a person because of looks. Don’t get me wrong, looks is a bonus. In my case, I started to have a crush because I felt comfortable with him and I never felt that way with another guy. We are really good friends. I have so many encounters with him already. I have to say, he was there in my highest and lowest. I’ve been also witness to what he has been through. We know each other so well.

Earlier this year, we got shipped. This is where things got complicated. I can see that he tried to ignore it. I also tried to ignore it as well. We both shrug it off. Yes, awkwardness did happen. But I am still grateful that we still talk.

I am so grateful for this guy. No matter what happens, I am so grateful for him entering my life.

Honestly, we really got to know each other. But I don’t want us to be in a relationship. I don’t know anything about romance. I want to be mature when it comes to this. If I get involved in a relationship , I would want that I would be really good friends with the guy first. I don’t want things all of a sudden.

I have to become open – minded, especially if he talks to other girls. I know him as a very sociable and friendly person. In the first place, I have no authority over him.

It hurts that we will soon separate ways. I have to transfer to another school next year. But always, I will treasure the friendship with him. He has helped me so much in my life. I will surely miss him.

I’ll leave everything else to God. I’ll wait for the right time. I have no control of what is going on with my life.

I see some of my peers are on a relationship. I respect them. I guess, I am such a late bloomer when it comes to that. Anyway, I don’t want to do things because everyone else is doing it. I don’t want to rush on things. I want to pursue what I am into first and see what happens.

I have to focus on what is more important in life and that’s family and studies. If you think about it, it better to single as of the moment. You are free because you don’t have to be committed to someone to the point you are limited to do what you want. I want to enjoy my remaining teens years.

You can only be a teen ones. So Enjoy! It is alright to have crushes but always know your limits. May they be an inspiration and not a distraction.

My 2017 in a video

 

2017 was a bittersweet year for me. By the first weeks of December, I wasn’t feeling well. I wasn’t feeling the Christmas Spirit. I guess it was all because I was drained by all the school work. Now, I am on vacation, I am taking this time to rest and to have time for myself. I am also taking this time to look back my year so far. I’ve been looking at my pictures. And these pictures brings back the joy and the camaraderie with love ones all throughout the year. I decided to make a video out of the pictures I have this year. Thank you 2017!

Remaining Humble

I have attributes and capabilities that I hone. There are inscurities I have on others because I feel incompetent to a certain thing of a person. As developing teenager, how do I deal with this?

In scenarios where in my attributes/ capabilities are most needed, how do I still be humble? Not to step down others for something I am and they are not? As much as I want to maximize whatever I have to the greatest potential, I still want to be humble. First of all, we are all unique. We have attributes/ capabilities that people associate for us. Instead of being too proud, I’ll use my talents to reach out to others. I don’t act superior towards others to make myself feel better. I’d rather be an inspiration instead.

When it comes to my insecurities, I’ve got to overcome it. As much as I want to be humble on what I have, I don’t wan’t to compare myself to others. I just want to me with a touch of humility.

 

 

 

Embrace your imperfection

I have to say that I have good teeth to the point I don’t have a brace. People will tell me that I’m lucky that I don’t need a brace (for the teeth). I don’t really take long in a dentist appointment because what has to be done is just cleaning. But not everyone knows that though my teeth are in place, I have a not so straight back. Yes, I do have scoliosis. I often get annoyed by the back pain I get every now and then. Also, I have to go to my ortho to have my back monitor every 6 months. I have to have an x ray 6 every months. What a burden on my part! I limit what I carry on my back. I get conscious with my posture.

In my past appointments, I’m said to have mild scoliosis. Recently, my scoliosis is at the borderline from mild and moderate. I’m suppose to wear a brace by now actually. But I don’t need to wear the brace (as of now) for I am 16 turning 17 and I am at the stage of maturity. If I were 12/13, I would really need a brace actually.

The thing with us humans is that, we compare ourselves with others without being aware of one’s own imperfection. I may have good teeth but I have my own imperfection. That’s my scoliosis. I wish I didn’t have scoliosis but as I think about it again, I’m satisfied with my own good feature such as my teeth. Everyday, I am standing tall as if I didn’t scoliosis. As they say, “fake it till you make it”

Embrace your imperfections just like how I embrace my scoliosis for it is not the end of the world.

 

It feels so nice

My mom met up with her friends. She proudly said the number of involvements I have in and outside school to her friends. Her friends were amazed of how far I’ve reach. I feel so flattered. It just feels so nice that your mom said that to all her friends in front of you. It comes to show how much she has recognized my efforts.

Despite that, I still got to be humble. I may tell you my involvements and achievements anytime but in between getting to where I am, I have moments of setbacks. I did started at the beginning. My will power to continue led me to where I am today. Also, there are so many people who I have to thank. Like those people who saw my potential when I didn’t see it in myself and who had confidence in me when I didn’t. Certain factors pushed me to where I am now. I’ve got to be always humble no matter how far I’ll even go.

What am I on Social Media

The social media I’m active the most is Facebook. That is my first social media account.

I’m on and off Facebook. My purpose of being online is more of being in touch with my friends and family. Since I’m the only child, I ought to talk to someone. I’m the type of person who wants to keep in touch with those I’m close with. I want to tell someone what has happened to me throughout the day.

My other purpose in Facebook is entertainment. I get entertained by the videos & memes online. It is also in Facebook wherein I check the news and read or view something that adds up to my knowledge.

Growing up, I’ve realized that I must be mature in how I use my Facebook account especially with what I post. I have to consider the hundreds of fb friends who could probably see my post.

What I’ve been sharing in Facebook (to my fb friends in general) are eye-opener and relatable content. But I can freely share relatable and funny memes or videos among my close friends.  There is a privacy setting for a reason. I can’t just post whatever in my timeline because of the hundreds of different people who could probably see it.

The other social media account I’m active in is Instagram.

It is fascinating that I can be creative with my pictures with this site. But the thing is, Instagram has actually made me insecure of other’s vacations and comfortable lives. It’s the rich kids who are getting public attention. I get insecure with other people’s feed that are HD. But if I think again, I’m not here to get public attention, I’m here to share whatever captures I have regardless of the likes and the followers I get. I don’t have to be like those rich kids. I just got to be me in my feed. I’m proud of the simplicity of my feed.

In all honesty, I don’t really edit my pictures. I edit a bit with the lighting then that’s it.

I’m proud to say that I got IG when I was 15 turning 16 not when I was younger. I’m smarter on the content I’ll post.

 

I don’t have twitter. I’d rather not. I don’t want to get involved in any fights online and I don’t want to read mean stuff. I’m aware of the cyberbullying in twitter. I know it could be in other accounts but it is in twitter when things get heated up.

So, I want to end this post with a message. Be wise with your social media accounts and be you online. Don’t do things for the sake for popularity. Don’t let whatever you see/ the trend is in social media dictate what you should be and do. Also, if ever you are with your family or friends, don’t be so drawn on your social media. Pause and spend every moment with them. Don’t miss your chance of actually being with them. Spend more time to what is actually in front of you than what is in front of your screen. There are more important things in life than your social media.

 

Why I don’t post so much on Social Media

So, you all know of someone who consistently post whatever on their social media accounts. I am not one of them.

There are moments I want to share to people (through pictures most especially) like I having a good time with my family, or I achieving something.

I think before I click considering the many people who can see my move online.

As much as possible, I want to be humble and genuine in what I post. I’m not highly seeking people’s attention. I make a certain post because I want to share to people this particular moment in my life. It’s fine with me if I don’t get so much likes. My post doesn’t have to notice by all. But I really appreciate the likes. 🙂 I don’t have to post every since time.

I’m not the type of person who goes, “OMG I have to take this picture so that I can have something to post in Facebook, Instagram!”

I don’t take selfies to be posted online. But I take selfies with my friends because I want to capture that moment of being with them. I don’t really post the selfies with them to be posted to the public, I can just send the pics to them.

Whenever I achieve something like a medal, I let my parents post it in my behalf. I don’t want to brag and think I’m up there. I want to express my joy of that certain achievement. Once again, not everyone has to know. If they know about it, then okay. If they don’t, it’s still okay. My purpose is not for the recognition and for the people to tell me, “Oh you’re good!” “Congrats!”  I appreciate it though but I know I’m good in enough.

I’m not a public seeker to the point I post every single thing. I want to humble with my life. I want to keep whatever I post as genuine as possible and not to boost my ego online.

Think before you click!

What’s with my body?

Often am I complimented for my physique, particularly certain parts of my body. People compliments for my boobs, butt, dimples, teeth, hair, skin, eyelashes, and etc. People tell me I’m blessed. I embrace the good parts of my body. But seriously, I see these parts just a part of my one entire body. When people compare their boobs to mine, it seems like it is a big deal. Okay okay, I fit the status quo’s standards of an ideal body. But to me, what even? Their is this consciousness about bodies. You have to have the curves to fit into the standards. There is this ideal sexy. Again, what even? I thank those who complimented me but we should not dwell to much to fit into those standards. There are more important things than about fitting in the ideal sexy such as raising your voice and taking action when it comes to social issues. It would be better if the people would maximize their potential than to make a fuss about their physical appearance. And, your bodies shouldn’t be a measure of one’s confidence. What I mean by that, if you don’t really fit into that standard, your confidence goes down. No, that shouldn’t be the case. Be confident in your own being no matter how your bodies are shaped.

Being on Last Year is harder than I thought

So far I made 2 post in the past regarding graduating soon.

Check out:

Graduating feels

Separating Ways

~~

To my post proper

My goal at the beginning of the school year is to make the most of my senior year. I am more active in school activities. I have more credentials for my yearbook for this year than last year. I am now hanging on unto my grade. I recently got my report card. It is not that bad but I know I can do more. 4 more months and I will be graduating. As time is getting faster, it hurts more to hear people asking, “Are you transferring/ staying?” It hurts because I’ve been used to these people (especially those I’ve been classmates quite sometime). Annoying, yes, but they have become part of my life. There are those people who would say “Hi!” to me in school, by next year, I wouldn’t be getting these “HI(s)!” from people I meet so often. Honestly, I am not enjoying my Senior year as much because there is the future to think of. Tough decisions are to be made. I have huge attachments to those people around me and what has become a part of me in my current school. Throughout high school, I’ve met so many people and get to know a number of them. What makes this situation more worse, I never transferred to another school. I know, I have stated in my previous post my desire to transfer but I am not ready of what might happen.

I recently got my NCAE results. It comes to show I am really for Humss (Humanities and Social Sciences). I agree to the results and I am for it. But I have classmates who are still uncertain on what they want. I know what I am taking but I am not ready for the new life later on.

Everything is happening all of a sudden. How am I suppose to face all this?

Help me Lord!

😥

If it weren’t for you

If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be

..what I am and where I am now.

..as contented with my life

..in a happy disposition

..confident

..seeing the potential I have

..stronger and wiser

Withou  you knowing, you’ve changed me

Every encounter means a lot to me. Even when our days could be gray.

I am happy to have you around.

You’ve been a witness to everything I’ve been through. The good and the bad.

We’ve shared the victories and defeat together. The laughter and the dumbfoundness as well.

I don’t exactly know what you think of me. But if I were to tell you, you mean so much to me. If only I have to guts to say I love you. But I know my everyday care and help for you explains my love for you.

I see you more than a friend. I’ve got to know you personally. I never had that kind of bond with someone else. I am more open to you than other people.

I know later in life, we will go seperate ways. But no matter what, I am grateful for having you in my life.

I just want to know how proud I am of you. How you’ve overcome the odds. I have been your witness too.

People has said things about you, but these people aren’t aware what you’ve been through. It won’t change how I see you because I know you more than them. And I know how much you are working on your weaknesses.

I too have weakness. But you made me feel that you saw the good in me despite weaknesses and doubts I have.

You’ve been always there. I am so grateful and blessed.

You gave me a push on whatever I am pursueing. No joke!

I pray that we will still be very good friends, even if we will have our own seperate lives.

 

 

 

Regaining the Confidence once lost

At some point in my life, I lost my confidence.

My lowest point in my life was two years ago. I had depression. My family was a mess. Bad things were consecutively happening to me. It was the darkest of my days. I was so negative. I was still figuring myself.

Thank God, I was able to get out from that! It wasn’t easy.

But how?

“When there is darkness, there comes the light”

It was actually in my lowest point when I found out who were my friends. I realized, despite everything, I was loved. It was through encouraging people wherein I found hope. They are my stepping stone from God. Certain people tell me often certain attributes that I have and that should be my everyday reminder to myself. Word such as ‘kind’, ‘helpful’, ‘friendly’, ‘smart’, ‘responsible’, ‘hardworking’, ‘talented’, ‘courageous’ I got my confidence from that. People saw the good in me more than myself. Therefore, I should start believing in myself.

Always whenever I’m down, there are those who were there to listen me/ shoulder me, who let me cry it all out.

Speaking about my family, there was so much misunderstanding on our dealing with one another. I really express my grudges to my family. It wasn’t easy. Later, the conflict was resolve. We are more kinder to one another at home.

Around this time, I started playing the ukulele. I’d strum and sing my heart out. This was a big factor on getting out of my sadness inside. Music did relieve the pain I felt inside.

Everyday, is a journey knowing yourself. Know yourself so that you would be vulnerable to those who goes against you, because you know where you stand.

My classmate told me that there those who talk behind my back but I don’t seem to care, and that she got to ignore them rather than scream at them. I later learned not to care what others say. These people don’t know me than how I know myself.

I’ve learned not to hold myself back no more. To make the most of every opporutnity. To have a smile in my face even though the situation don’t call for it. To be positive despite how things are exhausting. My struggles led me to not lose hope. To keep on fighting. That it isn’t the end.

Everyday, our confidence is challenged. You maybe werent as confident as the other day. But, keep your feet on the ground. You can surpass whatever struggle you are facing.

Just keep on fighting because you will never know where life takes you.

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑